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I musta stepped in shit. That's what they say about lucky people, right? So I musta did it, because I'm lucky. Actually I call it 'the power,' cause when I want something real bad, I can make it happen.
My name is Sissy and I'm in the fifth grade at Holy Name in Queens. The other day my teacher, Sister St. Joseph holds up these rosary beads. She is standing by the window and sun catches the beads just right. They sparkle and the crystals glimmer like diamonds. Sister says she's gonna raffle them off. They are the most beautiful beads I've ever seen and in my heart I know, they are gonna be mine.
Sister has other stuff too, including a record player. Me, I want the blue beads. She tells us the raffle will be the next day and it’s gonna cost twenty-five cents a ticket. My heart sinks. That's a lot of money, a weeks' worth of sodas at the Sugar Shack. Heck, I'm lucky if I ever even get a soda.
Later that afternoon I tell my mom about the raffle while we are hanging out the laundry. She says she understands, but she just can't give me the money. She says, What about all your brothers and sister? If I give you a quarter then I have to give everyone a quarter and that's two dollars!
My fingers are gettin' numb 'cause it's cold and the laundry is wet, but I gotta keep helping or she won't let me out later. I figure I can get the bamboo pole from the yard and some old gum and go sewer fishing. Then, if there's a crap game running in the school yard, I can play chickee while I'm at it. The guys'll give me a dime to look out for the cops.
When the laundry's done, I tell my mom I am gonna play with my friend Tomasina. She says okay, but I better be in by time the street lights come on and then she goes in the house.
Soon as she gets inside I lift open the cellar door and head on back by the furnace to get some matches. I'm real scared about this ‘cause she'd beat me with the barber strap if she knew I had matches.
There's a wobbly old chair that I grab and put against the coal bin wall, so I can climb up and grab some match sticks. I'm quiet on the way out. I let down the cellar door real slow so as not to make a sound. The bamboo pole is in the alley. It's twice as big as me but light as a feather. I pick it up and head down the corner.
In the school yard there's a bunch of the big guys huddled in an alcove. There's a crap game all right. I lay the pole along the iron fence and run over to where the game is. I act like I am way outta breath and tell the guys the fuzz just drove by the avenue.
"Geez thanks, Sissy," Sambo says. "Here's a dime. How ‘bout you play chickee for us?"
I take the dime and head down the corner where I set up so I can see the fuzz coming from any direction and still fish in the sewer. Then I find a chewed up piece of Bazooka nearby, and stick it on the end of the bamboo pole. I try scraping the wooden matchstick on my jeans like John Wayne. It doesn't light, so I whip the match across the concrete curb and hold the flame on the chewing gum. When the gum is nice and sticky I slide the pole gently down the sewer grate.
First thing I spot in the sewer is a brand new Pinky. The gum on my pole catches the ball solid. I pull up the pole and grab for the ball through the large part of the sewer grate. That's a keeper. I love Hi-bouncer Pinkies!
I look down again, and see green paper sticking out from under some leaves. My heart jumps. Naah. It can't be. I light another match to make sure the gum stays sticky and set the pole down the sewer again.
The paper teases me, moving away in the first few passes. God please don't let me lose it. The gum and the paper meet and I glide the pole back up real slow. A dollar! A whole damn dollar! Oh shit, I am thinking curse words again. I know God'll punish me for it. I grab the dollar and head home.
"Sissy! Hey Sissy, where the hell you goin?" Sambo sounds pissed. Oh, shit my head curses again! I gotta keep a look out. I forgot. Oh, shit, God is gonna get me for sure. I cross myself and pray real hard as I head back toward Sambo.
"Geez Sambo, my mother's calling me. I gotta go. You wantcha dime back?" Oh, God, now I am lying again. Lying and cursing, I am going to hell. God is gonna punish me big time.
"Naah, Sis. You keep it. Just remember you owe us, okay?"
See what I mean. I am lucky. But that is only the half of it. I still gotta get the rosary beads - right?
I don't tell anyone about my dollar 'cause my Mom'll take it from me for sure. All night I don't sleep. I am thinking about the beads and making sure my power, stays fresh. You gotta do that when you have the power. You gotta keep it strong.
Next day I am so excited that when I get near school I start running really fast. Suddenly, crash. I am flying through the air and I put my hands out cause I know I'm gonna hit the ground hard. One of those sidewalk cracks must have jumped up and grabbed me. I feel my right arm crunch and I know it's broken. Oh, shit.
I lie there on the ground, tears coming down like Niagara Falls and there's nobody else in sight. My book bag's open and all my stuff is scattered around. I can't move cause my wrists hurt bad and my right arm looks weird, and I feel like I am gonna feint. Oh shit, my mind curses again and at the same time I am crying and praying to God and asking Him to help me.
I start pulling and sliding along the ground wanting to clean up my school bag mess. And my dollar is there too, lying on the ground. I gotta get to it. Some kids come by.
"You okay Sissy?" A voice says.
"Yeah," I hear my self say. I am lying. I am dying. I am embarrassed.
"Geez Sissy you don't look so good." It's Tomasina.
"Tommie get my dollar over there."
She looks around, sees it and snatches it up.
"I gotta go home Tommie. I think my arm's broke." Then I tell her to buy the raffle ticket and bring me my rosary beads. Just like that!
Tommie and the other kids help me get my stuff back in the school bag. They help me up. I am grabbing at my stomach with my right arm.
"Your stomach hurt too Sis?"
"Naah, Tommie. It just makes my arm feel better to hold it here." My face is wet with tears and I can't even wipe 'em cause I am holding my right arm with my left hand like as though it's gonna fall off.
The bell rings and somebody says they better go. Tommie helps me up and then leaves. She keeps looking back like she is worried or something. My bag! I kick it under some hedges till I can hardly see it, and start toward home.
There is no one else anywhere on the streets. It's kinda weird. I am thinking about strange men kidnapping me. Stop thinking like that I tell myself. You know the power can make it really happen. I don't know how, but I manage to walk the nine blocks back home.
I kick at that door and I am wailing like a baby again.
"Mommy, Mommy," I am shouting - crying.
A car pulls up in front of the house. My uncle gets out. "Sissy why aren't you in school?"
I look at him, real sad eyed. I try to talk but I start taking these deep breaths and I can't stop doing it.
"Maria!" He opens the door and yells. "Maria come out here. Your damn kid's hyperventilating"
The door opens. I see my Mom standing there with two of the little kids. She looks at me and knows.
"Oh no Sissy, what did you break now? Angelo, drive her to the hospital. I'll call Momma to come and stay with the kids."
He helps me get in the car. Driving to the hospital he doesn't say a word. Doesn't even ask what happened. I am still breathing those deep breaths and sobbing. I am thinking about the lying and the cursing and stealing the matches. God got me good! He always gets me. It seems like anytime I do something wrong my mom beats me and God gets me too. When am I ever gonna learn?
At the hospital they make us wait in the hall. Uncle puts his arm around me and I calm down. Anyway I won't tell you what they do to fix it. All the needles and the pulling, but the warm plaster feels good as they pack on hot wet layers. They don't have tell us all the stuff about if your fingers turn blue, ‘cause I've had more broken bones than I have years! I guess I do a lot of stuff that God don't like.
But it don't matter to me, cause I also always get what I want. So ya learn to take the bad with the good or whatever. Anyway when I get home, I feel good about my neat new cast and comfortable sling, and I don't have to do the dishes. Daddy went and got my book bag and Mom says I have to do my homework. The bad news is, I'm left handed, so I can still write.
"I don't got any homework," I tell my Mom.
"Oh yes you do Miss Smarty Pants,” she says. “It's right here, a note from Sister St. Joseph. Tomasina brought it."
"Did she bring anything else, Mommy?"
She reaches in her dress pocket and says, "If you didn't go breaking your arm, I'd say you must have stepped in shit, because it seems you won these beautiful Rosary beads."
She hands me the blue crystals and I finger the beads. They are not round. Each bead is sharp and angular. I hold them up to the light and watch them shimmer. A strange feeling surges through me. The beads are my monument. I have the power.